MORE MOVIE TRAILER REVIEWS

It was a banner weekend – saw two entire movies – so lots of trailers to report on.

First we saw We Bought A Zoo, a very nice film. Matt Damon and his on-screen daughter played by Maggie Elizabeth Jones were adorable. I wanted to take them both home. (That’s just a phrase – not a stalker like threat.) But two warnings – bring tissues. Even if you are an icy-hearted Nordic type like myself and you’re convinced you won’t need them . . . trust me, you will. And, there is a little discussion about tooth fairies that raised a lot of questions among the under 8 crowd in the audience. Awkward questions indeed. Anyway, back to the trailers. Because this zoo movie was a family film, the trailers were all for family type films. 

A Thousand Words (April 2012) This is Eddie Murphy’s new film. He’s an unscrupulous agent who finds a Bodhi Tree on his property then finds out that he is only allowed to speak 1000 words before something bad happens. I can’t remember what, but I don’t think that’s important. I think it’s a plot device to let Eddie Murphy do his physical humor which he does quite well. I hope it’s funny. I like Eddie Murphy and it would be nice for him to have a hit. Oh, and let the record show that “I told you so” about Tower Heist.

Big Miracle (February 2012) Drew Barrymore comes to help three whales trapped in Artic ice. It appears we are supposed to believe that Drew has a special bond with the whales and somehow convinces them to cooperate with her. She also manages to convince grumpy Russians and Americans to work together so I guess she’s really that special. This is based on a true story, apparently. I’m guessing I will see this movie with my eight-year-old daughter because, well, there are three whales in it.

Joyful Noise (January 13, 2012) This movie came out already and lots of people have gone to see it. After the box office totals came in, I heard a couple disk jockeys wonder who on earth would want to go see Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton on the big screen together. I’ll tell you who wants to see them, my three children. Sure it looks a little silly – two ladies butting heads over which direction the church choir should go in the big competition, the obvious taboo relationship between the good-girl black daughter and the bad-boy white nephew, and the opposing music styles of gospel and pop – but I kind of see the appeal. It’s hard not to like that Dolly Parton. Same goes for Queen Latifah. This trailer made the movie look like a guilty pleasure. But I did wonder – why is this wholesome looking movie rated PG-13?

The Three Stooges (April 2012) This movie is an example of the phrase “something for everyone” because what those DJ’s expressed about the Dolly Parton movie, I felt for this Three Stooges B.S. When this trailer appeared on the screen I wanted to stand and scream at the top of my lungs, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The amount of hatred I had for the Three Stooges “comedies” when growing up knows no bounds. I can think of few things I despise more than the comedy of The Three Stooges. I’m sure it’s not rational, but it’s just how I feel. And why someone would want to watch a biopic about The Three Stooges is beyond me. Yet, as that trailer rolled there was the sound of laughter, male laughter, coming from the audience around me. What’s worse is that some of that laughter was coming from my own husband. Oh, and there is even a little cameo by Snooki. You’ve been warned.

We also saw Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. I wouldn’t usually go see a movie like this, but I’m married to a man so, you get the idea. I have to admit it was very good. Nothing you will think about ever again, but fast moving and fun. Since this movie was aimed at the dude market, the trailers were for action films that I hope to never suffer through.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2012) This trailer seemed indecipherable – Is that how you spell that, indecipherable? I really couldn’t tell who was bad and who was good in this film. There was a lot of shooting at stuff and I think maybe some end-of-the-world nonsense. Finally they showed Bruce Willis coming to the rescue and the audience I was sitting with burst into applause. Wow. Now I still have a soft spot for Bruce Willis from Moonlighting days and I appreciate that he’s been a role model for divorced dads, but really? Are we that desperate for a recognizable face?

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (unknown) Again indecipherable trailer. Someone is after Nicolas Cage. He’s a hero but he’s also a scary evil skull-headed dude? Which is he? I don’t care. But clearly there are some pimple-faced 14-year-old kids who do or they wouldn’t have made a second one of these things.

This Means War (February 2012) Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon is the object of desire for two CIA operatives, one being the talented Chris Pine who was Captain Kirk in the recent Star Trek remake. This movie looks like it’s trying to satisfy two types of audience members – rom-com and action fans – maybe the producers figured this would be the perfect date move because it could satisfy both the man and the woman? Judging by the trailer, I fear it will fail at both. I do like that Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine too, so hopefully I’m wrong. The cast members are awfully easy on the eyes.

Wrath of the Titans (2012) Liam Neeson stars in a movie for dudes. Enough said.

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