I’ve often 
made light of people who get too much cosmetic surgery, so the idea of putting my own dog under the knife seemed completely out of the question. But two years into owning Buddy, our German Shepherd/hound rescue dog, I noticed that his appearance had changed somehow. He wasn’t the cute, curious looking dog he once was. No, age had not been his friend.
Oh sure, sometimes he’d perk up his ears and look adorable again, but then a moment later he’d look old and worried, and it was all because his ears had folded back down to the side of his head. Whenever his ears folded down, he became less attractive, and it made me sad. I hated feeling that way.
I tried various tricks to perk up his ears and restore his happy face. I’d squeak a toy or talk in a high-pitched voice. This would make us both happy, temporarily. But then moments later his ears would lie back down again and the sadness would return. My emotions were in constant turmoil, and frankly, it was exhausting. I realized I couldn’t go on living like this anymore. I needed relief.
So then it occurred to me that if Buddy’s ears could be surgically altered so that they’d permanently be in the alert “happy” position, then I could be happy all the time. I checked with a local veterinarian and it turned out there was a surgery that could fix Buddy’s problem once and for all. Unfortunately, it was very expensive.
I was ready to give up the idea, but then on the way home from the vet’s office I saw some children operating a lemonade-stand. I had one of those light bulb moments. I ran inside and told my kids that Buddy desperately needed surgery, but that we didn’t have the money to pay for it. Then I sent them down to the local pet store in their oldest Abercrombie t-shirts and torn Fred Segal jeans. I gave them a table, a sign featuring a cute picture of Buddy, and a very large collection bucket. All my kids had to do was stand there and let their inherent cuteness do the rest.
Only three eight-hour shifts later, my children had collected enough money to pay for Buddy’s operation. The veterinarian was able to work his magic and after a few weeks of painful healing, Buddy looked great! His permanent, happy-go-lucky expression improved my mood dramatically. In fact, I think I read somewhere that cosmetic surgery can actually work better than anti-depressants. Well, it certainly worked for me!
Soon after Buddy’s recovery however, I noticed that the expression of his eyes didn’t always match his happy, alert ears. It was somewhat disturbing – almost like the job was only halfway done. His eyes needed to be more puppy-like and curious too. Turned out there was a surgery for that, and my kids were happy to pitch in again working the crowds at the pet stores. (It’s a good thing we have lots of pet stores in our area.)
So now Buddy is just perfect. He always looks young and curious. Though sometimes, when I look at his alert, happy face, it doesn’t feel genuine. It’s like there’s a sadness beneath his eyes.
I’ve found myself wondering: did I go too far? Is it possible that Buddy didn’t want these surgeries and I was alone in my quest for canine perfection?
Or, maybe, Buddy is embarrassed by his crooked front teeth? It seems like he very rarely shows them. Maybe if they were a little straighter, then we would both be truly happy.
I think I owe it to Buddy to find him a good doggie orthodontist.
Kristen Hansen Brakeman 
Oh my, my, my….Put Buddy on a diet before he needs a tummy tuck.
This cheered me up immensely! Thank you 🙂
Thanks!
Loved this! Made me laugh out loud.
thanks!
I never knew that dogs could have plastic surgery! This is incredible!
Well I know people do the tail and ear docking for real, but please note the date my column was published. 🙂
Cool! Buddy’s so cuuute 🙂
Har de har har. I was only outraged for a second.
And I loved it!
Thanks!
One of the best little essays about marriage I have read. This belongs on an Al-Anon website. Made me smile 😉
He might look happy.. but is he really ?
Oh My goodness how anyone could expend money doing surgery on a dog is just sick instead of saving that money later on for your kids oh well americans i guess
Please note the date this was published. (April fools day here in America!)
Oh, no. When I go home tonight I think I’ll be looking at my 16 year old cat in a very different way… Loved this!!
LOL LOL Loved it!
Thanks! Many people thought I was serious!
Too funny! What kind of dog is your sweet Buddy? He looks SO much like my pup (well, his pre-op photo anyway) and we have no idea what kind of pound puppy he is. Thanks for the chuckle (which was only made heartier by folks who didn’t get the joke).
hah! thanks, yes I hear ya on that front! We think he’s a half German shepherd and half coon hound? Not sure tho. Some sort of hound cuz he always has his nose to the ground and “talks” a lot. Ge’s a sweetie our Buddy!
That is very interesting, because when we adopted our dog, they had him listed as a German Shepard as well, but really only his coloring looks that way and not much else. We also thought maybe Beagle because he howls when he barks. Interesting. His eyes appear to be wearing far too much eye liner for a daytime look. I may have to look into having that corrected 🙂
a nice fools day message…
Reblogged this on All-Ways News Blog.
Thanks for the reblog!!
Too funny!! Made me LOL!
OMG Kristen, hilarious!
Thanks! – here’s what happened after I published this last year!
http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/424536/Meet-the-world-s-poshest-pets
II didn’t laugh’ I want my money back! “~ Just kidding, I really loved it. You’re a natural… Encore and love Buddy up, he is so sweet Kristen 🙂
LOL! Thanks Brock!