Everyone hates the FAFSA college financial aid form. It’s a pain in the neck to fill out, and for middle class families it seems like a big waste of time - they won’t qualify for need-based aid anyway.
As usual, the government is quick to respond to complaints and is working on revising the form. And thanks to the kids in my ten-year-old daughter’s “Learn to Code” class who accidentally hacked into the government’s website, I have an early version of the new, improved, FAFSA form.
Will it help middle class families? Judge for yourself:
1. List sum of your parents’ assets plus the fabricated income they listed on line 7 of their federal tax return.
2. What about parents’ “other money” like what they’ve hidden in shady Cayman Island offshore accounts or under the names of dead relatives? Also include change from sofa, coin jar in laundry room, and that wad of cash they have in the top drawer of their bedroom dresser where every burglar knows to find it.
3. List amount parents stole from their fellow Americans in government handouts, bailouts, or other entitlements.
4. State the current value of your parents’ home using 2014 currency and assuming that home is listed for sale with the most shark-like real estate agent in town, or, what it’s worth on Zillow. Continue reading