The Hazards of Computer Parenting

imagesI often feel badly when I have to work late especially if I miss seeing the kids before they go to bed.  What’s worse is that sometimes I can’t call home because it disturbs my co-workers.  As a solution I set up an instant messenger program that lets me “chat” from my office computer with the kids on the home computer.  This way, if they have a question for me or if I need to nag them to do homework, we can just type each other a quick note.

But sometimes they take advantage.  Big time.   That’s clearly what happened when my eleven-year-old “I.M.’d” me the other night.

Sam: When are you coming home?

Me: Not for a couple more hours, I’m sorry.

Sam: Oh.  Did u say that I get my phone when Sabrina gets hers?

Me:  I think YOU said that – we said you could have one after 6th grade :)

Sam: but what if everybody already has a phone? :(  :(

Me:  I don’t want to discuss this when I’m at work.

Sam: Even Charlotte’s 6-year-old sister Devon has one now.

Me:  Devon Schmevin.  Besides, her mom told me that her dad got it for her because of their divorce.  Do you want Daddy and I to get a divorce just so you can have a cell phone?

Sam: Um.

Me:  Not funny.

Sam: But, everybody in my grade has a cell phone.

Me:  Well good, then you can borrow theirs.

Sam: Seriously.  EVERYONE has one.

Me:  What if EVERYONE had a switchblade, would you expect me to buy you one?

Sam: Why, what would happen??  And what’s a switchblade?

Me:  A knife.  We’d probably all stab each other – now what kind of world would that be, hmmm?  Everyone stabbing each other all the time?

Sam: Phones don’t stab people.

Me:  Okay, what if everybody had a tiger in their backyard – would you expect me to get you a tiger?

Sam: YES, we should get a tiger!!!!!!!!  I love tigers!
Answer my question!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:  Okay – you can have a tiger

Sam: Daddy wants to talk to u.   Here he is

Sam: Hey

Me:  Hi

Sam: Did you tell Samantha we could get a tiger?

Me:  I thought it was better than a cell phone.

Sam: Well, I think its time to give her a phone.  I think that she is mature enough now.

Me:  Really?  But, we agreed to wait until after 6th grade.

Sam: I already told her that it’s fine with me if she gets a phone and if we tell her she can’t now, she will be very sad.

Me:  THIS IS SAMANTHA STILL, ISN’T IT?  Daddy wouldn’t say that!

Sam: No, it’s me, Daddy.

Me:  You are one clever child.

Sam: I am not a child!!  That’s not a nice thing to say about your husband.

Me:  My phone is ringing and it’s your dad’s number.  You’re in so much trouble.

So maybe parenting via computer doesn’t work, especially when a crafty kid has an agenda.

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14 Comments

Filed under Children, computers, Family, parenting, Uncategorized, women, work

14 responses to “The Hazards of Computer Parenting

  1. If I had been as smart as your kid I would have asked for the tiger. :-D

  2. Oh no! My kids are only 4.. I dread this stage.

  3. Mine, who is 14 now, claims that he was subjected to child abuse because he wasn’t allowed to get an iPhone when he was in elementary school. He’s serious.

  4. dishofdailylife

    Smart kid. Mine are masters at the art of finagling too.

  5. I’m now a grandmother and am just waiting for my own children to experience getting that “call from the school” in the middle of an important business meeting!

  6. LOL! They’re crafty buggers! On a different note, I noticed that I wasn’t getting your posts in my reader, then I realized that I inadvertently unfollowed you. Damn iPhone!

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